Tossin' cookies (or fries as the case may be)

Well, the title should say it all. I lost a pound and a half in one day!!! I'm down 6 pounds total. CRAZY! I shouldn't be surprised since this is the same path I was on with Josh, but somehow I don't remember it being like this. Yesterday I took Josh to preschool and had a momentary lapse in judgement because I actually felt like I could eat something. I stopped at McDonald's and ordered the two cheeseburger meal. Yes, I know, I said I felt hungry and when that chance comes, I load up. BIG MISTAKE!

Let me explain something to you before you judge me, when I'm hungry it lasts for about 10 minutes. So if I'm hungry, I need to eat and eat now! (Here's the part where you might judge me) I was on Blairs Ferry Road and began eating my lunch while I was driving because I figured by the time I actually got home the smell would have gotten to me and I won't want to eat it. So, I'm scarfing down this food as if I hadn't eaten in about two weeks (which actually is pretty accurate). Anyway, I get both the burgers down (no judgement) and about half the fries and I pull up to a stop sign on McGowan, only 10 blocks from home. The smell of the fries hit me and at about 32nd street I open my door only to throw $4.19 on the ground. (If ya know what I mean) Nice, huh?

It is just one big psychological game. If I eat something I have to keep my mind off of what I just did. Don't think about it. Focus on something else. That is not rice on my plate, it is not even food. If it is not food, it won't make me sick. I say this sort of thing all day. Yes I feel sick, but more importantly I feel bad because I can't sit at the dinner table with my family. The only thing worse than eating is watching others do it. Josh will ask, "Mommy, you not sit with us?". Talk about guilt.

On a brighter note, I looked in my pregnancy journal from Josh and I had written that the "morning, noon and night sickness" ended around 16 weeks. So, hopefully I only have about 7 1/2 weeks to go!