Death Becomes Her

Last Thursday night Dustin called at his usual "break time" and asked the normal evening questions (i.e. How's the night going? Are the kids being good? What did you do for supper?). It wasn't until I realized I heard his car radio in the background that I figured out he was heading home. He'd already thrown up three times at work and was sent home sick.

So I banished him to the family room and set him up on the futon and put the kids to bed. I woke up Friday at my usual time and felt a little "off". I got ready and as the morning went on each task exhausted me and I felt worse. I went down to wake Josh up and check on Dustin and Joshie said, "Mommy, I puked twice last night. Right here....and right here."

I threw his bedspread in the washing machine and drug myself up the stairs to get Lauren bundled up. By the time I got to Jaime's I knew I was done for.

I was really early for work so I went down to the office and quick finished up some 1099's before the entire staff arrived and headed back home. I walked in the house and Josh was lying on the couch half asleep. He asked for some Ginger Ale. I got a glass, found a straw...and ran upstairs because it was officially my turn to be sick.

The next 24 hours were pretty much a blur. I remember waking up to change my sheets because Josh threw up on Dustin's side of the bed and giving Josh a bath. I remember waking up to call mom and ask her to pick up and keep Lauren for the night. And I remember waking up enough to see if I was really dead...or if it just felt that way.

We were each still moving slower than normal on Sunday but at least the vomiting had stopped. This was ONE NASTY VIRUS!!!

Poor Joshie had to miss a birthday party on Saturday that he had been looking forward to for weeks. He was so upset...and at 5...there really isn't anything to comfort you from the disappointment of missing a birthday party. So Dustin did his best to be "sick buddies" and they pretty much hung out all weekend in the basement.

Thankfully, Lauren did not catch it. And, thanks to my mother...I could recover without having to take care of an energetic toddler.

However, I did come to a few realization from the whole ordeal:

1) The flu is the worst.
2) The flu, while you are 34 weeks pregnant, makes everything more messy.
3) Watching a five year-old get sick makes a mom's heart ache.
4) Listening to a grown man whine after three days makes you want to vomit again.
5) It is no wonder God chose women to bear children.
6) Dogs will eat puke.
7) Lysol cannot entirely get the smell of vomit out of the air.
8) When a child has the flu...they don't care if you have it, too.
9) Eating Jell-o, oyster crackers and steamed rice for three days is a great way to lose weight.
10) It is possible to feel like someone has run over your body with a Mack Truck without ACTUALLY being run over.

You'd think after a weekend like that I would be thankful to be among the living today, but alas...I was not.

It was a really bad day at work and I swear the kids can sense when I've had a bad day because it's like they conspire to see how long it takes before I break down. Tonight...we didn't even get into the garage before their conspiracy worked.

You'd think after making their mother cry they would have some sense of remorse and give it a rest. But, no. It continued all night and right now I'm typing this blog with my head on a pillow because I am exhausted in every sense of the word.

My one cute story from tonight:

While I was working in the kitchen tonight, Josh was telling me about the "dangerous" paint he was using in art today and told me that his art teacher kept talking about dead things, too.

Confused, I kept asking him what he was talking about. By the time we got down to specifics we were both frustrated with each other and sort of yelling.

Me: What was your art teacher talking about dead things for?
Josh: Well, ya know...dead things. She kept talking about all the dangerous colors we were using.
Me: Josh...I don't get what you are talking about at all.
Josh: MOM! I was using yellow!!
Me: Josh...yellow is not dangerous. Seriously!
Josh: MOOOMMMM!!! You know that stuff you squeeze and it drips out.
Me: You mean, dye?
Josh: Well, no it's dead stuff.
Me: **laughing** No, Josh it's called dye.
Josh: **looking at me like I'm crazy**
Me: There are words that sound the same but mean something entirely different. Like you know what a bear is, right? GRRRRRRR!!!!
Josh: Yeah? **giggles**
Me: Well, that's not the same thing as your sister running around bare naked.
Josh: Ewwww, Lauren's naked!!!!
Me: No, Josh...FOCUS!
Me: Do you see what I'm saying? Your teacher was not talking about dead stuff...she was talking about dye.
Josh: It was yellow, mom.
Me: I got that much, Josh.

Baby Update: 34 weeks

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which she'll need to regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.