Fair Warning

You know how in the newspaper there are all those legal notices in the back? Basically the three pages of nonsense that I never read unless someone else has the section I'm waiting for.

Well, this is my "legal notice" to all people who don't have children yet feel that parental advice is something they are qualified to give me.

And as long as we are discussing qualifications, just because you were a child once does not make you qualified in giving parental advice. Just because you work with children does not make you qualified in giving parental advice. And just because you have nieces and nephews does not make you qualified in giving parental advice.

I don't know what it is but lately I've been receiving a lot of unsolicited comments and/or suggestions. All of them from women in their twenties. And all of them from women having no children of their own.

Each time this happens I think back to my own comments from my "pre-child(ren)" days. And I am still haunted by the comments I made about people who let their two year old have a pacifier. See below.

(On my way to the hospital to have Ella. Lauren is two months shy of turning two.)


If I ask for your advice then, by all means, I expect your opinion. In fact, as a mother I regularly ask the advice of OTHER MOTHERS. But if I just so happen to mention that my two year-old climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night, I am not intending to open my children's sleeping habits up for discussion.

So I am giving all people fair warning: if you feel the need to make an unsolicited comment and/or suggestion about how my children behave, what I allow them to do, what products I use, what food I feed them or what activities I let them partake in, you better be ready for a comment in return. Because in the same fashion in which you have commented on my parenting, I will comment on how you dress, your job, your hair or any other item as I see fit. Because in my opinion, it is just as out of line.

Kids have bad days just like adults. And mom's have bad days every once in awhile, too. So some days I let things slide depending on what type of day I, or the kids, may be having. I do not do this because I want to mess up their sleeping habits for the rest of their life. Or because I think McDonald's is a well rounded meal. Or because I think the Wii is intellectually stimulating.

I do it because some fights are not worth fighting. I do it because some things in moderation will not kill a person. I do it to keep myself sane. But most times I do it because I am only one person and I cannot possibly do it all.

When it comes to my children ask yourself these three questions. Are they healthy? Are they happy? Are they loved? If the answer is "Yes" to all three of these then maybe I'm not doing such a bad job after all.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in becoming a mother is to pick your battles. And this is not one you want to pick with me.