Merry Belated Christmas!!

I certainly hope everyone had as wonderful of a Christmas as we did. Josh was overjoyed by Santa and didn't even balk at the fact he didn't receive a black Gameboy and a Pokemon game. Friday on my way to work he decided that he wanted to go see Santa. I hesitated but told him we would give it a whirl. The picture isn't the greatest, but he didn't realize they were taking the picture and he was still giving poor Santa his list of requests. Anyway, here it is....


Every year at this time I get all down and want to cry every time I see a bagged Christmas tree on the side of the road. I love relishing in the excitement of Christmas and hold onto the message of the season as long as possible. Hence, I am not one of those people who take their decorations down the second the clock strikes midnight on December 25th. I think the Jewish religion has it right by spreading it out over more than one day. Dustin would say that my reasoning is really a facade and that the real reason my decorations stay up is because I'm lazy. Well, there may be a bit of truth to that.

With all the Christmas celebration I've almost completely missed the 17 week update. That's right, I am officially in the 5th month of pregnancy. For some reason as soon as January 2007 gets here I think it will all seem more real to me. January to May doesn't seem like that long of time and God knows how fast tax season makes things go. Yeah, I'm starting to psych myself out. I'm really hoping that Dad will come down here and help me whip this nursery into shape. I want to help paint and decorate and organize. I know I won't get to do any of that if I wait for tax season to be over, because by then I won't exactly be moving at warp speed. Not that I am now.

At 17 weeks...

Your baby weighs about 5.25 ounces (150g) and now measures 5 to 5.6 inches (12.5 to 14cm) from crown to rump. He is practicing breathing by gulping amniotic fluid into its lungs. This helps the lung's development so they will function at birth. Your baby may also be sucking his thumb.

Meconium is present in your baby's bowels. There is hair present on your baby's scalp and sweat glands are developing.

Your baby is becoming more sensitive to the outside world and is moving around, kicking and punching. As there is still plenty of space in your uterus, your baby can move around a lot, sitting cross-legged, reclining or even turning somersaults!

He can probably hear by now as the ossicles (the bones that pass sound to the inner ear) have hardened and the portion of the brain that receives signals from the brain is under development. Your baby is getting used to the sound of your heartbeat and blood passing through the umbilical cord, but may be startled by loud noises. Your baby is aware of some things in the outside world, including sounds and light. If you let the sun shine on your belly, your baby may be able to perceive a warm red glow.

Last night Josh told me he was excited to hold baby and wanted to make sure we would let him hold the baby. I told him, "Of course. You're the big brother." He was so proud and said, "Yeah, I'm the big brother." I just had to squeeze his cute, chubby cheeks and give him a hug. He's going to be the best big brother!

REWARD!

First I must show everyone our beautiful cookies for Santa and his reindeer.



He had so much fun decorating the cookies and picked up every sprinkle that didn't stick to the cookie for a little snack.

Last night on our way to church, we were discussing baby names with Josh and he was a little confused at first because the only baby we seem to be talking about lately is baby Jesus. So we asked him what we should call the baby inside mommy's tummy, he said......Baby Jesus 2. Yeah, we'll have to think about that. Maybe we'll call him/her J.J. for Jesus, Jr.

Josh had a milestone today. Every Tuesday and Thursday when I pick him up from Angie's to take him to school he asks if I am going to pick him up. It starts when I buckle him in his seat to leave Angie's and ends when I give him a "thumbs up" at the door on my way back to work. Today was the first day he didn't ask. Yippee!!! Our little boy's growing up!

We do have some other news at our house.....the Gameboy is missing. Josh had it on Saturday morning and I told him to pick up his toys and now we can't find it. He is absolutely convinced that we shouldn't be worrying about this because Santa is certain to replace it with a brand new black one. Tonight I had the audacity to insinuate that Santa may not bring him a Gameboy for Christmas. Upon hearing this he collapsed on the kitchen floor and wailed. Oh my. I woke him up on Monday morning and instead of saying, "Good Morning!" he said, "Mom, my Gameboy is missing because I losed it."

Obviously I am not as heart-broken as my poor son has been. Josh and I actually don't argue in the morning anymore and we have nice conversations on the way to and from work. He's not so pre-occupied by that stupid thing and his world isn't revolving around it. However, everytime Josh brings it up Dustin looks at me with a raised brow because I think he's convinced I'm just hiding it.

What kind of mother does he think I am? Of course I have an idea of where it is, but I've told that boy a million times that I am not responsible for that thing. I'm teaching him a very good lesson and getting a nice return for my investment....PEACE AND QUIET!

16 week update!!

Well, my update today said this....
It's the end of your fourth month, and your baby now weighs 2 ½ ounces. She's able to kick her legs, which are measurably longer than the arms that she often swings about as she floats in a sea--actually, 7 ½ ounces--of amniotic fluid. You may be able to discern some of her movements now; some women say they're like butterfly wings flapping gently. Some first-time moms don't feel anything, though, until the 24th week.

I can verify that our little one is kicking his/her legs! He/she was kicking up a storm during the ultrasound yesterday.

I told Dustin that mom and I didn't see anything between the legs yesterday, but that it's still early. So I was asking Josh last night what he would think of a baby girl. He seemed okay with it and but wasn't overly excited by any means.

Then this morning. He went running into Angie's front door and yelled, "We have a baby girl!" I explained what actually happaned and told her that it was still early, but there is a good chance it's a girl. I guess he's excited.

That was one sick emotional roller coaster!

I've had a few very scary moments in my life. Scariest moment was May 8, 2003, when I thought I was losing Josh. Second scariest was the first time I spotted with this pregnancy. Third scariest was when they couldn't find Josh's heartbeat. All of those have officially moved down a notch today.

I began spotting again this weekend at almost 16 weeks pregnant. Today I went into the doctor's office. They used the doppler and couldn't find the heartbeat. Then they used the portable ultrasound machine and did an external scan. The doctor could find the bleed. Basically the placenta is pulling away and there is a small bleed underneath it. I am to avoid stress, anxiety and heavy lifting for the next 24 weeks. For Josh that means I can't carry him and for everyone else that means don't stress me out! :-)

Well, after finding the bleed the doctor still couldn't find the baby. So she went to an internal ultrasound. Still no baby. At this point she had looked for about 30 minutes. I said, "I don't see a baby." and she said, "I don't either. And I should at 16 weeks." Basically, at that point I was hysterical. She went back to do another external scan. She found a flickering of a heart, but no baby. Just a mass. So I lay there sobbing thinking that I am going to have to face the decision of having to terminate this "non-viable" pregnancy when there is still a heartbeat or wait until the baby dies and I miscarry.

The doctor stopped the examination and said she was going to send me to ultrasound downstairs. The machinery is way more sensitive and would be able to see more. By then I'd been in there for over an hour and it was 12:20. I got dressed and the nurse said she could get me in for an ultrasound at 1:00. Still crying, I said, "Thank You." I walked out and immediately called Dustin.

He only heard me crying and kept asking what happened. I told him and he said he'd try to get there as soon as possible. I called mom's office and she was at lunch. I walked the agonizing walk down to ultrasound and checked in. The woman at the counter could tell I'd been crying and said she'd tell the tech I was there. I had just enough time to tell mom where I was and the tech left her lunch early to come save me from waiting any longer. I'm telling you, I HAVE THE BEST OB-GYN OFFICE IN THE WORLD!

She got started and mom miraculously appeared at my side and this is what we saw....






A perfect baby. The heartbeat was at 154 and baby is measuring exactly to date; 15 weeks, 6 days. I am completely drained from emotion today. As low as I felt at 12:20, it was the polar opposite by 12:35.

I am so glad mom got to be there. She got to see all those kicks, the stomach, the heart, the hands and arms flailing, the spine....everything! Tonight I am going to go home to my beautiful son and make cookies for Santa with him.

Then I am going to go to bed and thank God again for giving me Josh and then thank him again for keeping me pregnant. My children are my world and the thought of losing one, even an unborn one, is unbearable.

Whoops....missed the 15 week update!

With all the hilarity of the Christmas program I completely forgot to do my 15 week update and now I'm almost to 16 weeks. Goodness!

According to my email update....
Fine hair called lanugo covers your baby, who now measures about 4.3 to 4.6 inches (10.8 to 11.6cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 2.8 ounces (80g).

Fingernails are well formed and the arms and legs may be seen moving on an ultrasound. Your baby already has his own unique fingerprint pattern!

Your baby can hold his head erect and he can also make faces with his slightly developed facial muscles. Your baby may practice squinting, frowning and opening and closing his mouth.

Your baby's bones have enough calcium deposits to show on an X-ray. If your baby is female, her ovaries will be in place in her pelvis and more than five million ova (some of which may be fertilized to become your own grandchildren in another generation!) have formed.

I'm still having a problem with sleeping lately. I'm up around three and can't seem to fall back asleep. Yesterday was no different and I was up watching the movie The Aviator. Anyway, as I'm laying there on my side all of a sudden a feel this swoosh feeling. Well, swoosh with a little "roll". I'm guessing someone changed positions in there. It totally reminded of me when Josh would move around and you could just feel a big "roll". Then last night we had a very late supper and I had a pop with caffeine. Well, that must have woken someone up because then I started feeling all these taps and flutters. I don't feel much very often at this stage, but when I do there is no denying what it is!!!

My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday and I'm down another 5 pounds. I'm really hoping that we get another ultrasound this time. And I'm really, really hoping that we get it before Christmas! The last real picture I have of this child is where it looks like a dot.

Well, it wouldn't look like a dot anymore!!!

My God that's a big three-year old!!

Well last night was Josh's first Christmas program. It pretty much feel to crap the second he walked down the aisle and saw us. The tears came and he ran right to my lap screaming, "I want to stay with you". Dustin was busy throwing out any promise he could make in order to get him up there. With each promise came more tears. I told Dustin to stop and I whispered in his ear, "If you go up there you can get something Star Wars". At that point he was ready to bargain. Anyway, he ended up there.....and so did Dustin.

Sorry the picture isn't great, but between me laughing and the kids moving around it's the best I could get.


I couldn't even really watch him because everytime I'd make eye contact with him he'd start crying. I totally have to give Dustin credit because he even helped with ringing the jingle bells during one song. God, I'm sure he wanted to die, you all know how he is.

Anyway, as I say every year when I break another diet.....There's always next year!

What a nice weekend!

With everything we accomplished this weekend, you'd think I'd be more tired today. Maybe I'm still on some high from the paint yesterday.

I finished decorating the tree and Dustin hung my new star on my foyer wall. Josh and I worked on a Christmas project yesterday and we had such a great time. We decorated Styrofoam cups and baked them. They turn into hard little plastic shaped "bells" and then we hot glued little jingle bells inside and put some pretty ribbon on top. They will be his gift to pretty much everyone who reads this blog.

Every time the cups would get hot in the oven and expand and then shrink rapidly, he just squealed with delight. Here's a few pictures Daddy took for us!




We had my office Christmas party on Saturday night so Dustin and I were all dressed up for the holidays. I decided to try and get a nice family picture for a Christmas card. I got Josh in his suit, found the perfect spot in the house and got everything else all ready. Josh practiced with the camera's remote control and I will say, much to my surprise we actually accomplished the mission! It was quite a feat but in the end, I won. Sorry, but with all the work it took to get that thing, you're going to have to wait to get it in the mail!!

I do have to share one other picture though. There is a cute one of Josh and I when we were finishing the tree and practicing using the remote for the camera. There are a bunch of goofy ones but this is my favorite (excuse the hair).



Now for a nice family moment this weekend. Dustin and I both had a vision of what Josh will be like as a teenager. We had gone out to lunch at Wendy's on Saturday while doing some Christmas shopping. Josh got the kids meal and the toy was a cd from Goosebumps. He kept yelling, "It's a movie! It's a movie". Without even looking at it Dustin assured him that it must be a computer game. I concurred and reinforced our belief that this was indeed a computer game. This went on for about the length of our lunch. We had finally convinced him that it was for the computer and then last night he finds this cd again. I put it in my laptop and spent the next 45 minutes trying to figure out why my computer didn't have the right software to run the game. Dustin picked up the packaging and read that it was actually a DVD. Our son ridiculed us like a trained professional with years of experience. "I told you so, Mom. I told you so, Dad. I was right. Josh was right." God, having to admit your wrong to anyone is not fun, but having to do it to a three-year old is down right awful.

We watched Prancer on tv last night and then the boys and Mattie headed off to bed. After I finished a few projects I came upstairs only to find this. Pretty much sums up everything. Even the dog was snoring!

Mommy always wins, you should know that by now!

Well, this weekend was full of exciting and tiring moments. Dad was in town and he got to experience Josh's "Independent Phase" first hand. I think it frightened him and amused him all at the same time. It took that child 3 timeouts and numerous threats to get him to say, "I'm sorry" to the dog. But in the end, Mommy always wins. You'd think that his father would have taught him that lesson long ago, but somehow Josh just hasn't caught on yet.

Friday night we went out to dinner at Culver's when Dad got into town. I wanted a burger with Thousand Island dressing on it. I know it sounds disgusting, but that creamy dressing and chunks of pickle....need I say more? We sat down as my brother, husband and father were all gagging at my meal and I was trying to enjoy it. Dad joked and said that I am officially pregnant. And then I gave him my desert order; an eggnog shake with chocolate chip cookie dough. Yeah, as I'm typing this right now I'm not quite sure how I thought of combining those two ingredients. Nonetheless, it was delicious and I'm certain that Dustin will have to order me another one in the future.

I got my 14 week update today and I had to chuckle.
Most of the discomforts of early pregnancy, such as nausea and fatigue are behind you for now and you are probably feeling better.

All I can say is, WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? Probably a man.

The baby's update was much more exciting....
Make a fist--that's how big your baby is now.

At week 14, he weighs close to an ounce and measures between three and four inches from top to bottom. Like you, he can make a fist, too, with fingers that have a unique set of prints; an epidermal layer in his skin shows genetically determined ridges on the tips and palms.

Keep drinking those glasses of skim milk, because in the next eight weeks the bones throughout his body will harden as calcium gets deposited. Your son's neck is now getting longer too, which means his chin doesn't have to rest on his chest anymore.

It's Friday!!!

I have offically been up for 12 hours! Lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night and my mind starts churning and I can't go back to sleep. This morning I managed to watch a marathon of Designing Women, an episode of Emeril, A Different World, Mad About You and a bunch of news channels. Really, there isn't much on at that time of night except a bunch of advertisements for sleeping aids.

Well Josh had another morning like Wednesday and I had even less sleep this time around. I really am hoping that this is just a phase for the small boy. He couldn't find his Gameboy this morning and instead of looking for it, he just sat and cried. Well, screamed and cried. Pretty much from the time I told him to take of his pajamas off to the time I told Angie and him to have a nice day. Nothing makes you feel like a "Mother of the Year" like a child screaming at you, "You mean, mom. You mean." as you head off to work. I've decided that instead of saving for Josh's college education we should really be saving for his future therapy sessions. Amy at work keeps reminding me that we are a completely normal family and if I'm lucky he's still too young to remember anything. I'm wondering when exactly he will start to remember....18?