Speak and He listens

I have been so swamped with work lately that I've had numerous "blog worthy" experiences but just haven't had the time to get online. Tax season has started very early this year...that is for sure!

Like I said, I've already been working long, demanding hours and this weekend was no exception. Bad things started happening the minute I picked Josh up from Angie's and kept happening until I finally hit rock bottom on Monday at about 2:00 pm. So many awful things occurred this weekend that I couldn't even begin to start mentioning them all. I started spotting...again, my daycare provider threw a big curve ball at me, Josh found his Gameboy, then threw his first MAJOR temper tantrum since the stupid thing had first disappeared (It has officially been removed from his possession...permanently), I worked way too much, we didn't get Josh's room finished, etc., etc., etc. It just kept coming. Then I went back to work and I literally got dumped on by 8:03 Monday morning.

Honestly, the fact that my breakdown didn't occur until Monday at 2:00 pm shows that I am doing better with some relaxation techniques. ;-) However, I went into Amy's office and just started crying. I told her that I have been feeling so inadequate lately and that I'm killing myself and still don't feel I'm doing a good job in any area of my life. I don't feel like my work is getting the dedication it deserves, I don't feel like my husband is getting the help he deserves and I don't feel like my son is getting the attention he deserves. After a 15 minute rant, I literally raised my hands to the sky and looked up and cried, "I just want someone to pat me on the back and tell me that I'm doing a good job." I cried a bit more, got back to work and called Dustin to tell him that I wasn't in the mood to cook.

We decided to meet at a restaurant. We sat down, they brought our salads and Josh reminded me to not take a bite before we all prayed. On a side note, the boy has become the little Prayer Police. We ate our dinner and just sat and all talked about what we would do later that evening. We were almost done and this couple got up and got ready to leave. The woman comes over and puts her hands on Dustin and my shoulder and looked at Josh and said, "I just have to tell you that you are the most well behaved little boy I have ever seen in a restaurant. You're parents have done a good job teaching you what is appropriate behavior. So, GOOD JOB Mom and Dad!" I'm telling you, I felt like I was slapped by God. We all thanked her for her kind words and she told us that she taught Kindergarten for 30+ years so she was absolutely qualified to make that statement. We all laughed and they went on their way.

I didn't even tell Dustin about what an impact that woman had on me until the next day. I haven't had an experience like that before. So blatant, so obvious. So many times we ask for God's help, His advice, His strength, a sign from Him...anything. Sometimes we don't think he's listening but on January 8, 2006, I was personally reminded that he is indeed listening. We just need to be ready to hear him.

If only all His messages were that easy!

With all the hoopla of the week I've completely missed my 19-week update and I'm actually closer to 20 weeks! Well, here was my update this week...

Your baby weighs about 9 ounces (260g) and measures about 5.6 to 6.4 inches (14 to 16cm) from crown to rump.

Her skin is thickening and developing multiple layers- the epidermis and the dermis, the deeper layer where it will form fat. Your baby is now also developing a waxy protective coating for her skin called vernix caseosa. The vernix protects your baby's skin which is continuously submersed in amniotic fluid. Vernix, which is particularly thick around the eyebrows is held in place by tiny downy hairs called lanugo.

Your baby can now grip with her fists. Toenails and scalp hair are growing.

At this point, it may be possible to determine the baby's sex by ultrasound, if the baby cooperates, but the ultrasound technician will rarely guarantee the sex based on the ultrasound results as mistakes are sometimes made at an early ultrasound.

You can hear the baby's heartbeat with a Doppler ultrasound device or a stethoscope.