Out of the mouths of babes

Conversation #1

Josh: Mom, today at school my best friend pushed me at recess.
Me: Josh...best friends don't push each other.
Josh: That's what I thought.
Me: If that happens again you tell him that best friends don't push each other. And then you go tell the teacher.
Josh: Yeah, cuz' that's not appwopwiate (a/k/a appropriate) behavior.
Me: Uh...no it's not.


Conversation #2

Tonight the kids and I made banana bread and while we were waiting for it to cool we watched a Christmas Veggie Tales in my room. The kids were getting rowdy and picking on each other rather than watching the movie.

Me: Guys! Quit it!
Josh: Mom, Lauren keeps sitting on me.
Me: Lauren, sit down. Josh, don't touch her.
(They continue picking on each other.)
Me: GUYS! Last warning!
Josh: Then what?
Me: Uh, you go to your room and Lauren goes to bed.
Josh: Are we driving you crazy?
Me: Yes!
Josh: Yeah...I thought so.


Conversation #3

We went to Wal-mart to pick up a few items. Josh and I loaded the bags in the back of the van and Lauren watched on from the cart.

Josh: SHOE! SHOE!
Me: What are you talking about?
Josh: SHOE! Lauren's shoe!!!
(I noticed her shoe was in the middle of the parking lot and went to pick it up.)
Me: Thanks, dude!
Josh: I saw the shoe and was like, "That's Lauren's". And then I saw she was missing a shoe.
Me: Wow!
Josh: Was I helpful?
Me: Yes!
Josh: (to himself) Go Joshie! You're awesome! Go Joshie! It's your birthday!