Pass the cake

My apologies...the last two weeks have been a blur and I'm just thankful I've been able to keep up enough so that my children have had clean clothes!

First...Josh is officially FIVE years old!!!!



I have no idea where the time has gone. One day you're changing diapers and dressing them up in silly little outfits...


and the next day you're sending them off to Kindergarten.



There is no other way to say it...but that was a tough day for me. For Josh's birthday I had given him a few "starting school/kindergarten" books. Some were more for him...others were for me.

So we sat down the night before school started and read them. I asked him if he was excited for school and he said that he was scared and began to cry. Of course my pregnancy hormones got the best of me and I was a blubbering mess. Once we got out all of our tears we read the books and both felt a lot better.

I told him I would give him one of my head bands and he could keep it in his pocket so that if he ever missed me he could reach in his pocket and know that I was thinking of him. I think he reminded me five times before he went to bed and twice the next morning to put my "pretties" in his pocket.

We got ready for school, packed up his bag, took a few pictures, ran to see Dad at work and then it was the moment I was dreading. We both walked up to the school hand-in-hand and patiently waited for the doors to open.

I took him to his room, we found his seat, turned in all his supplies and took a quick tour of his room. The bell rang, we gave each other a kiss and a thumbs up as I walked out the door. All with no tears.

I walked outside the school and just sobbed. Even thinking about it know I become a mess. What is wrong with me?!?!?

Dustin came with me to pick him up (I think we were 20 minutes early). The bell rang and he came running out with his class. He said he had so much fun and was so proud of himself that he only needed to reach in his pocket twice.

I was so proud of him, too. He obviously handled everything a heck of a lot better than his mother.

He's been home with Strep now for two days - the first case the doctor had seen and the first the school had seen. So tomorrow may be a little rough to get back into things.

Remodeling/Construction on the basement is in full force. Dad damn near killed himself last week and I was right behind him. By Friday night we were ready to set the place on fire...and ironically, Dad almost did! Ha!





These photos were taken very early in the week because now everything is drywalled and in the process of mudding. The family room has been wired for surround sound and all the recessed lighting and outlets are working. The new windows just came in today and hopefully the long weekend will bring along some major progress!

Saturday we took Dad up to Mason City to meet Thomas halfway. The drive was perfect and the kids were wonderful. It's always hard to send Dad off after he's been with us for such a long time. I get used to having someone at home with me in the evenings (and admittedly, a second pair of hands to help with the kids)and Josh always has a hard time understanding why he has to go home.

Other than that not much else is going on. I am anxiously awaiting my morning sickness period to pass. This weekend was particularly tough and unenjoyable. However, I am still in disbelief that the first trimester is almost over and, even more so, that we are even pregnant. God certainly has a funny sense of humor!

Baby Update: 11 weeks

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

Nothing.

That's what I've got this week...nothing.

Between morning "all day" sickness, pure exhaustion, trying to get the house put back together from our disastrous water loss, preparing for our favorite little boy's 5th birthday party, preparing for overnight guests, preparing for our favorite little boy's first day of school, and getting ready to remodel the basement next week...I have had no energy (or time) to take one photo. It's pathetic.

We obviously have our plates full right now and neither Dustin nor I can muster enough energy for a fun filled weekend with the kids.

I only got a couple hours of sleep on Sunday night so last night all I wanted to do was sleep. But since the worker's had gotten our appliances back in place and the kids were happily running around the house I figured I might as well get to work. I worked in the formal dining room for almost two hours. The film of drywall dust covered everything and made dusting a joy. Then I had to scrap/scrub the splatter of glue off the wall that the floor installers left.

After I vacuumed and put everything back in its place I was exhausted. Yet I continued and worked at putting the family room back together. I'm not sure why I tried so hard because within 20 minutes you couldn't tell I had picked up or vacuumed.

Defeated, I waited for the Schwan's man and bought some toffee bars. Thankfully, that was the first piece of food in 24 hours that stayed down.

Yesterday I had an OB appointment. I've lost 5 pounds since last Thursday. She asked how it was going and I just about started to cry. "My throat is raw from puking, I had to dress twice this morning because I got sick all over, my husband works nights so I am the only one to make supper for my kids and the sight of food sends me wretching and then it scares my kids." She was so sweet and listened to me and asked if it was this bad with my last. I did not hesitate, "NO!" I mean, it was bad, but not like this!

So she said she'd put me on medication if it does not seem to get better within a week and said to try and eat whatever and whenever possible. Next time I'll probably get another ultrasound so that's something to look forward to in the meantime.

Update on Baby: 9 weeks

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

146 beats per minute!!

Sound familiar...it's how fast Lauren's heart was beating at my first ultrasound with her!!!

I had spotting last night and my doctor just wanted to check things out so I had a quick ultrasound this morning. Everything looks great!



It's a bad picture but I got to see the little arms and legs moving and the heart pumping blood through his/her tiny little body.

I think it might actually be setting in that we're pregnant again!

Dustin's piece of heaven

We had planned to head to Duluth for Dustin's birthday. Considering his passion for shipping, boats and water Duluth, MN, is pretty much his Mecca.

We headed up to Minneapolis on Thursday morning and we were already on the road by 6:30 in the morning. Aside from some horrendous rainstorms we made it there in a good time and were able to join dad for a quick lunch downtown.

After lunch we decided to head back to dad's house and grab a quick nap in order to prepare for our trip to IKEA and the Mall of America. Dad's dog, Cassie, has been having some um....how shall I put this..."intestinal" issues so she has been quarantined to the kitchen. As the kids got ready for a nap Dustin let the dog out and left her blocked in the kitchen...thanks to a baby gate.

We all went to sleep and after a good nap woke up...to stench. Yeah, she hopped the gate and had relieved herself SEVERAL times. I immediately called dad so that he could hear my dry heaving. Hehehehe. Dustin went and surveyed the damage. It was bad. I believe six in all.

Dustin and I were arguing about who should clean it all up. Josh, all dramatic, waves his hands up and down and says, "Guys. Do you think your kids should clean this up? Your daughter, Lauren?" OMG. We about died. He is so funny.

We didn't make it to IKEA but we did make it to the mall and Josh got to ride on a ton of rides so the day wasn't a complete loss!






Friday morning we got up and headed to the Science Museum of Minnesota. They had an exhibit for Star Wars and Josh and I couldn't pass up an opportunity to see some actual Star Wars memorabilia.

The first level was all about shipping, the Mississippi River and nature. Josh got to attempt driving a virtual barge.



He started out nice and strong and then quickly grounded the barge. They had slices of trees that were 300+ years old and ancient hunting tools. Dustin and I found it very interesting.

Then we headed to the Star Wars exhibit. I am not quite sure why I like Star Wars. It's my geeky side, I guess. I cannot stand Star Trek or anything Sci-Fi...except for Star Wars. Admittedly, I am not sure why most people who like Star Wars are freaks. And let me tell you...there were plenty in attendance that day. This is one of the parts of my life that Dustin got with the package deal.






Lauren was a good girl throughout the museum. She sat quietly in her stroller and watched all the people crowd around. Periodically, we would let her out so she could strech her legs...and then she found the stuffed lion.



I heard her scream, "KI-KI!!! KI-KI!!" (This would be Lauren very excited to see a kitty.) We laughed so hard. I felt bad pulling her away from it because it was honestly the only part of the tour she enjoyed. But after 45 people walked by and looked at Lauren like she must have been raised in the wild to think that an animal that large was a kitty, I had to make her leave.

Then the dinosaurs. Dustin and I just stared at the bones and marveled at the size of these things. I cannot imagine them once roaming the earth. They were huge!!




Then Friday afternoon we ran to IKEA, of course, and by dinner time we were off to Duluth.

Duluth had a huge Maritime Festival and by the time we got checked in to the hotel and brought our things up to the room the fireworks were just beginning. Lauren thought they were the coolest things ever and would clap and squeal randomly.

By the time they were over it was almost 10:00 and we were all wiped. One bad night's sleep later and we were up and out the door by 6:30 in the morning. We took the kids down to the pier and walked around while it was quiet and not crowded.




We went and had breakfast and then Dustin headed back down to the pier with the kids. I went up to take a nap (growing a human is hard work).

Dad and I rejoined them just in time to watch a huge ship come through.



I don't care how many times you watch it happen...it is the COOLEST to watch the bridge go up and down like an elevator. Add to that the sheer size of these vessels and it's one of the neatest experiences. Josh was in awe!

Lauren had more fun chasing after the seagulls than paying attention to anything in the water. That girl has no fear.



We didn't do much other than eat, shop and walk. We had such a nice time and the weather was gorgeous. Dustin is set to move there any day. He said as soon as he finds a job we're moving! We'll see, although, I would admit I'd love to live there as well.




It went so fast and before we knew it we were back home. We had such a great time with dad and Thomas...just wish it lasted a bit longer.




Baby update:

Your baby is now 5/8 of an inch long, about the size of a kidney bean. New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. His arms have lengthened, too, and his hands are now flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart. His knee joints have formed, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways.

Eat dirt

This weekend we had a long weekend down in Davenport camping with Larry, Toni, Gretchen, Adam, Ken, Janaan, Rich, Felicia and Jessica. Dustin's family has pretty much made the trek down to Bix every year since...well, as long as I have known them.

It was a record breaking trip for many reasons but mostly because it was officially the first weekend we went camping that we didn't have severe storms. What a change!

Saturday morning was the annual Bix7 race. Dustin, Larry and Ken have all run in the 7 mile race at one time or another but this year due to injury or lack of training...none were able to participate. Nonetheless, we had a good time (except for one psycho heckler) watching a sea of physical fitness whiz past us towards the finish line.




The Hostess people were kind enough to hand out Twinkies to everyone and I had to wonder what all these runners thought as they ran past people stuffing their faces with the sugary goodness.

I don't think Lauren cared what the runners may have thought...she just wanted to know if she could have their Twinkie, too!



After the race was over we went downtown to eat some funnel cake and have the kids play some games.



The kids had a blast but it quickly became very apparent that Lauren had missed her morning nap and that they were both ready for a little sleepy time. So we headed back to the truck and got everyone ready for the ride back to the campground.

Of course neither child lasted very long and soon they had each taken an hour nap and were fully recharged from the mornings events. Dustin and I, of course, had no time for a nap and were physically exhausted. But for some reason...kids don't really care if you're ready to collapse.

So I gave up on the idea of an afternoon nap and got the kids ready for a trip to the playground.





Our campground was right on the Mississippi River so Josh got to see his first barge.



Anyone who knows Dustin, knows his love of cargo ships of any sort. His fascination with the Edmund Fitzgerald and several other shipwrecks borderlines on obsession. So when he went running to show Josh a barge and Josh's response was, "Huh. Dad can I go fishing?" it kind of burned a little.

Even though Josh was not fascinated with the barges, I was taken by the beauty of the river. After the events of June I have a new respect for the power of a river. And to see it glisten in the sunlight on Sunday morning was amazing.



Sunday was our last day there so we let the kids try out the big playground one last time before we left.




And not that there aren't a million things different between Dustin and I...we found one more.

Mommy's idea of pushing Lauren on the swing...



Daddy's idea of pushing Lauren on the swing...



**shaking my head**

Dustin made me promise not to step in because, and I quote, "SHE LOVES IT!!"

Right before we left Lauren was getting a little brave running after Josh and Jessica and ended up face planting in a big pile of dirt. But like my little girl, she picked herself up, pulled the dirt out of her mouth and had a good laugh!



In other news, Josh just realized that Mattie is a girl. I'm not quite sure how after all this time he didn't realize his dog was not a boy. But he was SHOCKED to find out otherwise.

He was also shocked that there was such a thing as beer.

JOSH: What's this?
ME: Beer.
JOSH: Just beer?
ME: Yes.
JOSH: Not Root Beer?
ME: Nope.
JOSH: Really. How silly.

He cracks me up.

This week's update on baby: 7 weeks.

Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

"So....was this planned?"

My how things can change in just two weeks. Two weeks ago we were planning a family vacation for next year and now we are figuring out how we will afford another child in daycare and in diapers.

Things are setting in. The excitement over another baby is creeping in and the fear is moving out. I had my medical history appointment today and a bunch of lab work. My arms feel like they were digging for oil. Ouch! This was the first time I felt severely self-conscious about the dreaded question..."Was this a planned pregnancy?"

Me: Uh...no?
Nurse: Were you using birth control?
Me: **nervous chuckle**
Nurse: (staring)
Me: Uh, kind of.
Nurse: What method were you using?
Me: Uh...a wing and a prayer?

I wanted to continue with my new, little, standard speech...which is the following:

I mean, honestly, who would have thought this would...COULD...even happen? We tried for a year and a half for Lauren and had to turn to medical intervention to finally help us along.

And what I want to finish that speech with (but refrain) is:

Don't look at me like that. Yes, things like this happen to people who have college educations. I am not stupid. (Pause) I'm not white-trash!!!

But it was obvious that she did not care as much about this being an unplanned pregnancy as I.

I wish I could just be gleefully excited like Dustin but I am my own worst critic and somehow feel like I screwed up. Maybe it's because I am a planner and this was the opposite of that. Or maybe it's just because I am to "reality" as Dustin is to "dreams".

Honestly, I think it's that I still can't believe that this is actually happening. I thank God for this pregnancy. And sometimes you don't know you want something until you get it. And since this will be my last pregnancy...I will be sure to enjoy every minute of it.

I've been busy trying to find ways to physically exhaust my children so that they want to go to bed early; in turn, I can go to bed early as well. So Thursday and Friday I took them out to the mall playground and let them run wild.






They had a blast and I got a little quiet time to myself. Needless to say we will be doing that again very soon.

Saturday morning I woke up at 5:15 and decided that I should go for a walk. Well, Lauren must have heard me getting ready and thought that a walk sounded good. So I got her dressed and her and I went on an hour long walk. I had to laugh because everyone driving past me must have thought that I was a crazy woman to have a small child out on a walk at 5:30 in the morning.

It was a great morning for a walk, though.

I don't know how I have forgotten to introduce our newest member of the family. Please give a warm welcome to "Fishy Fishy"!!!



Josh named him. He has done a wonderful job in making sure that Fishy Fishy is fed every morning and he talks to him every day to see how he's doing. It really is adorable to see him so dedicated.

I hope everyone is having a great week and enjoying the heat!

The shock of a lifetime!

Well...I'll just come out and say it....

WE ARE...



I know, I know. Pick your jaw up off the table. We were very surprised, too. To be honest, I don't think it has really sunk in yet. I find myself forgetting or thinking it was just a dream but then I remember...this is for real. And that's when I blurt out, "I can't believe it."

Saturday morning we were all down in the basement playing a video game. This was the conversation...

ME: I'm late.
DUSTIN: How late?
ME: Late.
DUSTIN: (excited) HOW LATE?
ME: Like...8 days late.
DUSTIN: Are you serious?

(pause)

DUSTIN: Have you ever been this late before?

(pause)

ME: Yeah.....twice. (As Josh and Lauren sit in between us.)

We finished playing Josh's game and I came upstairs to take a shower. I quick took a test and hopped in the shower figuring that by the time I was finished the results would be ready.

Dustin came in to shave and said, "Is this a new test?" I completely thought he was joking. I said, mockingly, "Yeah?" He asked if I had seen it. I told him to shut up. He said, "I think you need to look at this."

He handed it over the top of the shower and even without my glasses I could see what it said. At about that time my vision went blurry, my body went numb and I screamed, "OH. MY. GOD!"

When I think about everything we went through to get our little Lauren..well, lets just say I never thought this would be possible on our own again. We are overjoyed, nervous, overwhelmed and obviously very excited.

I really cannot believe this is happening. It's been a complete whirl-wind and I pretty much felt God grab the wheel and change our lives' direction in a millisecond.

And I thank Him for it because the feeling has been amazing.

Saturday night we went to church and the sermon was about sowing the seeds of faith. And as I sat there I couldn't help but think of the news we had just received and how fitting the message. The closing hymn was one of Dustin's favorites, "On what has now been sown", and I stood there singing...really listening to the words and couldn't help but feel emotional.

The weather was gorgeous this weekend. We pretty much were outside from Friday night until late Sunday night. I took the kids on a nice long walk on Friday night and again on Sunday morning.



We had the ritual "hosing down with sunscreen" just about every hour and like in times past...mom forgot to protect herself. How do we do that as mothers? I have the children slathered like pigs at the county fair with sunscreen and yell at them if they take their hats off for even just one second, yet I stand out there with not one drop of protection.

Oh well.

So while Dustin mowed today the kids and I played on the swing set and enjoyed the glorious weather.




Have a great week!!!

And I'm asking for volunteers of someone willing to tell my boss that I'm due in the middle of tax season.....any takers?

Wishing I was four again

We really didn't have anything planned for this weekend other than Dad and Thomas coming to town. We didn't go to the fireworks because they are too late for Lauren and if she screamed and cried through the entire display then no one would have any fun. Instead we had a mini-firework display in our backyard...thanks to Dad and his Minnesota fireworks. They were pretty much glorified sparklers in a tube but we clapped and cheered like they were the real thing.

On Thursday, Miss Mattie found a nest of baby bunnies. I wondered what was taking her so long outside and when I went out to check on her I heard the all familiar "squeak" of a baby bunny. I know you will all be shocked, but when I told Mattie to drop it, she did. And when I told her to come in the house, she did. Either the stars were aligned or the Gods were smiling...either way she made me proud.



We've been checking on them every day and Josh thought that we should put carrots where we want them to go and then they'd go there. From what we'd seen there were only three. So when Dustin went to mow the lawn he found three bunnies and went on his way. Unfortunately, there were actually five. You can guess what happened. Dustin felt awful. I was sickened. Even worse, one had barely survived and neither of us could do anything to end its suffering. So we called the emergency vet clinic and delivered the injured bunny so that they could take care of it humanely.

Josh does not know and we are choosing to keep it that way. Ironically, him and I had had a very interesting conversation about death just the week before. And while it probably would have been a good lesson for him and a reinforcement of our conversation from the week before, I could not bear to make him upset.

On a much, much, much lighter note...Lauren found a new toy.



She has hundreds of dollars worth of toys and she grabs the $1.99 hamper for a good time. Go figure.

And after a little ordeal, I finally got Lauren's pictures from her photo shoot last month. I'm still as in love with them as I was when I first saw the originals...maybe even more so. Although, now I'm not sure if I'm more shocked by the fact that she's changed so much in just one month or the fact that this little girl came from Dustin and me.





Aren't they amazing?!?! I know most of you would vomit if you knew how much I paid for them and if I wasn't so emotionally attached I probably would vomit, too. But to be honest...I would have paid twice as much.

Then Saturday I thought it would be good to get the kids outside and in the water. I had purchased a "splash pad" for the kids hoping that Lauren would be more excited to play in the water. But Josh still seemed to be the only one having any fun in the water and Lauren was more concerned about driving her car. Given my past adventures, I will admit that I am more than a little concerned about her fascination with cars.




Then I told Josh I would make him a "poor man's water slide". Oh. My. God. That was so much fun!!! And if my butt would have fit...and if that slide would have held my weight...I SO would have gone down it!!!



It was so funny and we all had a ball!!